How Not to Get Laid

Unlike most college buddies who play the role of “wingman,” my group of friends thought it was hilarious to cockblock each other by any means necessary.

I was bringing a girl back to my dorm room (freshman in college) and things were going great (By great, I mean we were both really drunk). However, when we entered my room, the mood was ruined by a TITANIC movie poster pinned up on the wall over my bed. I tried to explain that my friends must have gotten back from the bar before us and planted it there as a joke. She wasn’t buying it, and clearly thought I had a thing for the movie.

“Why would your friends do that?” she asked dubiously. “You don’t know my friends,” I replied, but it was too late. I had lost her like Rose lost Jack to the Atlantic Ocean.

I DID find out which friend pulled the prank and got him back later that week while he was talking to a girl at the bar. “Hey Steve! How’s that herpes coming along?” I said with a pat on his back and then walked away. Steve didn’t get laid either.

Submitted by Chad, Age 27, Los Angeles

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