How Not to Get Laid

A compendium of coitus rejectus... because we learn more from our failures

A forum for stories about all those amazing sexual encounters you almost had, but didn't.

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Thinking Positivity . . . If You Wanna Be With Me

Posted: December 6th, 2007

Submitted by Claire E., Age 22, San Francisco

If you want to sleep with the girl…

…spend less time brooding about your luck with women, and more time touching her goodies.

…spend less time vocalizing your concerns that she doesn’t want to sleep with you, and more time touching her goodies.

…spend less time arguing that you deserve sex because you are a decent person, and more time touching her goodies.

…spend less time bragging that you nearly never come because you like to please girls so much, and more time… yes, touching her goodies.

Try on some positivity, try to have some fun, and enjoy her company. Quit fussing out loud over whether or not she’s going to fuck you and quit trying to uncover the mystery of why not when she doesn’t.

Most of all, quit calling me. You blew it.

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46 Votes | Average: 3.02 out of 546 Votes | Average: 3.02 out of 546 Votes | Average: 3.02 out of 546 Votes | Average: 3.02 out of 546 Votes | Average: 3.02 out of 5 (46 votes, average: 3.02 out of 5)
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Categories: Girl Story - No Sex for Guy, Foot In Mouth, Lack of Balls, How Not To Get Laid.

2 Responses to “Thinking Positivity . . . If You Wanna Be With Me”

  1. N

    “spend less time bragging that you nearly never come because you like to please girls so much”
    Hahahahaha, seriously? That’s not even bragging. What he said was that he likes to please the girl but usually he can’t so that’s why he doesn’t come? Shit.

  2. tmlsuperspicee

    OUTRAGEOUS!!!

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