How Not to Get Laid

I was at a party during college once and was talking to this girl. Her face was just okay, but her body was awesome. I kept picturing what it would look like naked and what it would feel like.

So somehow, the conversation gets to this place where we’re talking about sex, and she tells me she’s a “born again virgin.” Eager to do anything that will get me closer to doing it with her, I tell her that I too am a born again virgin. Not smart.

So things progress and I find myself back in her room making out. Things are getting good, so I ask her if she has a condom, to which she replies, “But you’re a born again virgin.”

What could I do? If I’d told her the truth, she would’ve tossed me out, so I had no choice but to play the part. Needless to say, my born again virginity was not lost that night.

Submitted by Paul, Age 32, NY

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