Submitted by Frustrated Online Dater, Age 27, New York

Attention Online daters… here are some things to avoid:

(6) Telling your potential date that your interests include going out sometimes and staying in sometimes. Surprising, I know, as this does make you sound very unique and very exciting. But more information is required.

(5) Having a profile in which you sound bitter and angry with the world. Once again, shocking that this is not a turn on, I know. Also bad, putting up a photo of you scowling… you would be surprised by how many people actually do this angry, “I am really pissed off” photo thing.

(4) Putting up photos of you and a child who is not yours, but forgetting to write, “not my child”… this can throw a potential suitor off just a little.

(3) Continuing to instant message someone who has turned you down multiple times. By the tenth time that you are rejected, you really should figure out that s/he is not about to change her/his mind. I recently returned to the online scene, and this one man continues to just keep on trying, hoping I’ll have a change of heart. But I haven’t.

(2) Emailing your potential date photos of your highly unattractive genitalia. Yes, some man really did this to me thinking it would work. He emailed me asking if I was impressed. Impressed by how unattractive and horribly pale and pimpled he was? Yes.

(1) Having a photo of you in a wedding dress on your profile with the screen name “AreYouTheOne”? Doesn’t work so well. Who knew?

Valentine’s Day was probably not the best night for a first date, but we were both single and I figured it might make a good story if things actually worked out. We met at a restaurant, though I didn’t learn until we met up that she didn’t have a car and conned a friend of hers into driving her over to the restaurant at the last minute. Things started off on a decidedly low point when she asked me right off the bat if my parents were divorced because she was also looking to set up her mother, and wouldn’t it be fun for us to go out on a double-date: me and my dad with her and her mom. (My parents just celebrated their 35th wedding anniversary this past August.)

Over dinner, she began to tell me about her prior boyfriends, most of whom had been abusive in various ways. I also heard of her parents’ messy divorce, her father’s alcoholism, her repressed memories that are starting to surface (some of which involved more abuse) and about a thousand other details about her life – mostly because I couldn’t get in a word edgewise.

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