Archive for the 'Lothario Story' Category
Submitted by Charlie, Age 38, Houston
I worked at a business software company for 8 years as Network Administrator, and during that time successfully bedded about half of the female personnel; surprisingly, I still had a pretty good reputation, which I attributed to my being honest with women and treating them right before and after each one-night stand. Hell, I mean they even recommended me to one another.
Then we hired a new receptionist for the main desk, and this chick was dazzling. Beautiful red hair, face like a china doll, hazel eyes, built like a brick shithouse, smart, witty, effervescent personality, everybody loved her from day one. Within two weeks I had her heels on my shoulders at the Marriott, and I seriously thought this girl was The One. I soon learned through the grapevine that she thought the same thing about me.
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Submitted by Blake, Age 28, Toronto
Well, there was this girl I’d known for some time who was pretty cute. A bit odd but alright. We’d flirted on occasion and I knew she was interested but, frankly, I had better prospects at other times. I’d bunked over at her place for a few days between apartments and found out first hand how neurotic she could be, so I should have seen this coming, but oh well. Hindsight…
So there’s a stretch where I’m not with anyone, we end up at the beach together, and she’s looking pretty good. We end up at her family’s beach house and things start getting interesting. Then she tells me that she’s never â€gone all the way†before. Really? â€Yeah†she says, though she’s come close. Ok, well that’s alright, I say. So long as you want this to happen. So we take it from there.
So we’re on the bed ready to go and she glances out the bedroom door. â€Did you leave the light on?†Uh, yeah, sorry. So she gets up, goes out and turns it off. Comes back. â€Please don’t leave the light on.†Ok. â€It wastes power.†Sure, sorry. â€I just want you to remember for next time.†Ok, I will. â€Alright. Don’t forget.â€
All of this in a tone like an adult scolding a child. Then she goes back to kissing my neck. Uh, sorry! Not in the mood! Stop! Amazing she’d never gone â€all the way†before. Protip: if you want sex and everything’s ready to go, save the lecture for another time.
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Submitted by Clark
I was 23 and in my final year of university. I had a couple classes with this quirky little goth chick who had huge boobs. She worked out like maniac because she loved to ogle herself in corsets, and once she told me that, I figured it would be great to eventually see that myself.
We met up at a diner so that she could help me with the final project in a media course I had been skipping. When we left, she just followed me home without asking or being invited.
I took that as a pretty obvious sign and immediately changed body language on the elevator. On the couch, I just blurted out “you have a nice ass, let me feel it,” and she obligingly stood up and turned around so that I could do so. I proceeded to basically feel up her entire body, and it was pretty nice and erotic.
The I smelled her breath. It smelled like she had a piece of rotting meat stuck in her teeth from a few meals ago. You know that smell you sometimes get on your dental floss that makes you want to vomit? I was immediately turned off.
At the time I was a bit depressed, so I didn’t just get turned off but immediately just wanted to sleep for a few hours and forget the whole situation.
I told her I had to crash immediately, and she said she wanted to take a nap too. Obviously she meant let’s go have sex in your bed, but I acted as if I took her literally, and said, okay, well you hit the couch and that way you don’t have to wake me up as you leave.
That was kind of awkward. I left her in my living room and got into bed naked. After a couple minutes she came in and stood next to my bed. It was so clear that she wanted me to nail her, but I was just so turned off by the breath thing. I considered being honest with her for a moment but I knew that could lead to no good.
So I was lying on my back naked in bed, and this pretty hot little redhead was standing there in the darkness. Suddenly she reached out her hand and started feeling up my arms and shoulders. “You have awesome muscles”, she said. Then she started to slide her hand down my chest towards my stomach. I was completely limp, which if you know me should tell you how oddly turned off I was.
I grabbed her wrist and said I was feeling almost faint I was so tired and if it was okay I was just going to fall asleep right away. She said “uhhhh, okay…” and went for a nap on the couch, I guess either to hold up the pretense or maybe see if I would change my mind and come get her. As soon as I heard her leave about an hour later, I got out of bed and went about my business.
I still feel bad about that, because I actually liked this girl and she was super hot. I also realize that she probably didn’t have bad hygiene in general, just got unlucky. Hell I was probably smelling her stomach acid because she was starving herself for her crazy hot little body.
Damn!
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Submitted by C, Age 27, Europe
So I had been traveling for a couple of months, kinda slumming it, and hadn’t been laid in a while. It was beginning to grate, getting to that stage where desperation was soon to follow. Then, a new girl showed up at the hostel-come-beach house where I’d been staying for a couple of days. She was cute, killer accent, and, most importantly, seemed pretty loose. I spent the next three or four days alternatively trying to woo her then surprise sex her. Progress was limited.
Finally, one night after a tantalizing water fight with wet t-shirts, we did a little kissing in the club. She told me she liked me but that I was getting too wasted every night. I promised I’d take it easy on the booze and show her a good time. We wandered back to the house and chatted a little on the veranda. Critically, we had a few more drinks. Then, she announced she was going to bed. She walked toward her room, gave me a meaningful look that I felt in my pants, and went in, leaving the door ajar behind her. I could see her pulling off some clothes as she got into bed.
I walked to her doorway.
I was pretty excited.
But I was pretty drunk.
I stubbed my foot on a litre bottle of water.
I had a funny idea.
She rolled over in the bed when I came in. I could see she was naked. I soaked her with a litre of cold water.
Two minutes later I was back outside her door again. This time it was closed. And locked. And the desperation settled in nicely for the foreseeable future.
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Submitted by “I don’t wanna talk about it,” Age 24, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
I’m not sure how to describe the place. It was a typical street outside a bar that played loud heavy-metal music and was packed with depressed teenager in black, which I was at the time. I was there sharing beers with a friend. While I was still sober, a girl came to talk to me and said she thought I was cute.
I didn’t respond. Not that I was embarrassed or anything, but I didn’t find her very attractive.
In response to my silence she said, “You don’t liked me. Okay,†and left.
Many beers later (and I do mean MANY) I saw the same girl and told my friend “She’s ugly as hell, but I’ll take her.†I tapped my friend on the shoulder and went to talk to her. I don’t think she gave me time to finish a whole sentence before kissing me. After this kiss, she took me by the arm, heading to the corner.
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Submitted by Meagan, Age 24, New Orleans
Back in college I was dating this total alcoholic (we’ll call him K) whom I was with for 2 years. (Love is definitely blind sometimes.)
Anyway, it’s New Year’s Eve and we went with some friends to a club to celebrate. We’re dancing and everyone is having a good time.
All of a sudden, K grabs my hand and puts it on his package. It’s pretty evident to me that he’s excited. He says, “It’s all for you baby!” I was pretty mortified, especially since he didn’t seem interested in giving my hand back to me and people were staring. I guess that I wasn’t drunk enough or something, but I was pretty annoyed and ended up leaving soon after.
Needless to say, we both slept in our respective beds that night, and a breakup was looming large on the horizon.
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Submitted by Da Man, Age 17
The most stupid thing I’ve ever done. I had a crush on this girl and invited her to a party I gave. I didn’t want to get with her at that party; all I cared about was to have fun, and the funny thing about women is… they love it when you don’t give them all your attention…
Well, at the end of the party, she was pretty much into me, and I brought her to a bus stop where her father was going to pick her up. I was about to kiss her, when her father came, and she wanted to stop the kiss, but I was going into her. The father, a conservative, came out and screamed at me: I should lay my hands off his daughter. I told him to fuck off and continued to kiss her when she slapped me. End of story was that I called her a bitch and then had to run away from her really tall father.
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Submitted by lola harrington, Age 35, Mouseville, FL
it’s the early 90s, and i’m 19 and an undergrad at a college in florida’s capital city. i have broken up with my boyfriend who lived in the same apartment complex, but we still get on really well. so well, in fact, that i hang out at his apartment with his three other roommates. he and i stop sleeping together, but from time to time i sleep with his other two roommates … usually separately. ; )
unfortunately for the third roommate, i’m not into him. he’s overweight, a total loud-mouthed hick, pasty-white, and wore really unattractive glasses. he tried to guilt me into sleeping with him, and then called me a whore when i refused. i explained repeatedly that my involvement with his roommates wasn’t a free-for-all, but a
respectful arrangement that happened when we were available and amenable. guilting me into sex was not going to work, i explained, and neither would flattering me. he STILL didn’t get it. so he tried alcohol.
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(40 votes, average: 3.93 out of 5)