Submitted by Paul, Age 36, Baltimore, MD

I’m in high school. My girlfriend Laura is driving. She parks her Toyota on top of a hill in the middle of the woods. You could call this make-out point except I don’t think anyone else knows about this place except us. At last, we’re alone, two virgins, and the moment is right.

We start making out furiously, and it’s the greatest thing I’ve ever experienced in my 17 years on earth. So hot. So incredibly hot. The parking brake keeps poking me in the side, but I push it down; nothing is getting in between Laura and me now. I climb on top of her, and our limbs intertwine with a passion I’ve only dreamed about up until that point.

… which is probably why neither of us noticed the car slowly rolling backwards. Until …

“Holy shit!”

Suddenly, the Toyota is in the woods and rolling backwards downhill — FAST! God bless, Laura, her foot somehow found the brake before we killed ourselves. But not before the rear of the car had sustained major damage. We came to rest with the back fender hooked around a tree trunk, and we were stuck.

Laura tried starting the car, I got out and pushed, but it was muddy and the car was not going anywhere. For a fleeting moment I thought, “hey we’re stuck, we might as well have the sex we were planning on having anyway,” but one look at Laura’s panic-stricken face and I wisely shelved that plan. The rest of the night only got worse. We had to walk for three miles to find a house where we could call our parents, who then called the police and a tow truck. We gave elaborate explanations for how we happened to be stranded in the woods so suspiciously, so late at night, but it couldn’t have been too hard for anyone to guess what had really happened. We were both grounded for a teenage eternity, forced to pay for repairs, and prevented from seeing each other for so long that it would be more than six months before we finally managed to have sex with each other.