Archive for the 'Drugs/Alcohol' Category
Submitted by Jessica, Age 19, Trenton, NJ
A party. Long time friends. We were both drunk, sitting close on a couch, our thighs pressed against each other's with the party going on all around us. He started running his hand up and down my back till his hand settled low, between my shirt and the top of my jeans, with his fingers on my skin and grazing the top rim of my panties. All of this with loads of people around, but everyone was drunk, and he was doing all of this in the "privacy" between the back of the couch and my back. We were both getting very hot, his hand pressing more, wandering more, our legs pressing more, shoulders, leaning, it became one of those, must-have-you-moments.
Finally, I turned at looked at him, he looked at me, and we both got up together, his hands not leaving me. I put down the beer I'd had, and we walked to this large walk-in coat closet at the entrance, closed the door and started going at it. My shirt was off, bra was next. I was unbuttoning the top of his pants. He paused for a second, backed away from me, opened the door, leaned his head out, threw up all over the floor, closed the door, grabbed my waist and said, "I'm good now! Whew! Much better." and leaned in for more… um… yeah… no.
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Submitted by Nadine, 20, Germany
Imagine a drunk college party at my house. I had just moved in two months ago and had not yet met all of my roommate's friends. There was a guy at the party I had noticed earlier in the evening who was extremely good looking. However, I didn't talk to him at all.
Later in the evening, I made out with my best friend in the kitchen (we are really close and have slept together before). Well, he was really drunk, and, at some point, he went to my room and passed out on the bed. As I was tired too, I wanted to join him. I went to my room, removed my makeup and my lenses. My friend had already removed his clothes (except boxers) when someone knocked.
I opened and was confronted with the hottie. He just hugged me, thrust his pelvis forwards and managed to get out: "Do you need some company, honey?"
I made a few steps back into my room and he followed. As my bed was right next to the door, I nodded to the right and told him I already had company. He was disappointed, frustrated or embarrassed–I can't tell which–so he stormed out the door and left the house. Funny thing is, as I really liked this guy('s looks), his oh so subtle game might have worked had my best friend not been passed out on my bed. Oh well.
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Submitted by Miss Kibble, Age 22, Newcastle
I had admired him a la distance for some time, emerging as I was from an absolute train-wreck of a marriage. Inevitably, we fell into a sadly clichéd, drunken one-nighter. Your astute powers of deduction will, even at this point, lead you to conclude that he failed to fulfill his reputation as a modern-day Lothario.
I really should have been skeptical at the start of the evening, when – breathing in the nape of my neck – he murmured, “Mmm… You smell like my mother.”
Not overly burdened with tact myself, I willingly overlooked this slight faux-pas. At which point, his phone started to ring. And ring. And ring. Most anybody else would have turned it off; however, it was quite beyond his gentlemanly capabilities to postpone an opportunity to brag about his conquest, early though the night was…
In hindsight, I too am shaking my head at this point – though this is by no means the end of the sorry liaison. The potent combination of countless martinis, lust, and pent-up bitterness was humiliatingly irresistible.
Having pulled him into my bedroom, I worshipped at the altar, so to speak. No result. I’m still not sure who was more mortified – him or me. Both of us adamantly claimed a zero failure rate.
The tremendous pressure of so very many embarrassments weighed heavily on both of us, and we reached the conclusion that we should leave things until the morning.
As I was turning off the light, I chanced to look down, and the horror of what I had done slammed into me… I was sleeping with a naked man in socks!
For those of you living in blind ignorance, no woman with even a morsel of self-respect will ever, ever sleep with a naked man in socks… This is a fundamental tenant of womanhood; akin to our obsession with putting the toilet seat down, or our love-affair with potpourri.
Cathartic though this has been, at yet another head-hanging moment in my life, there is a sequel to this sorry saga.
But I wouldn’t want to give it all up at once, now, would I?
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Submitted by Cee Ehm, Age 32, Ontario, Canada
It’s funny that you should post your request for more stories on Valentine’s Day as my story actually takes place on this past February 14th.
I spent Valentine’s Day with two male friends. Let’s call them Zane and Seymour. I have had a crush on Zane for as long as I have known him. But he is shy, so very shy. While I have been known to be a fairly forward girl when it comes to letting a man know I am interested, for some reason, Zane stops me in my tracks. He is very handsome and sweet and funny and I love spending time with him. I also know that he is not very comfortable with many people, particularly women, and I am one of the anointed (very) few. So, whenever I think about making a move, I imagine it going poorly and not only suffering humiliation but losing a good friend as well. So when we hang out, I get all hot and bothered but do nothing.
Seymour is Zane’s best friend, and he's as gregarious and open as Zane is reserved and quiet. Seymour beds woman after woman after woman and is always on the prowl. If you were to line the two of them up and ask someone which fella they think would get more play based on looks, the resounding answer would be Zane. But that is not the case. Not even close. While I adore Seymour, I have never been attracted to him. Well, maybe once or twice, but not really. And while he has jokingly flirted with me in the past, it was always just jokes.
As the three of us are single, we decided to spend Valentine's Day together by getting drunk and going dancing. Seymour recently bought a condo in the city so Zane and I drove into his place. We had a lovely dinner, drank lots of wine and then went out to a club. Zane doesn’t dance so Seymour and I and a bunch of my girlfriends hit the floor and danced ourselves silly. At one point the DJ played a slow song (Son of Preacher Man by Dusty Springfield) and Seymour and I started to dance. Suddenly, he stopped, said, “Some is cutting in,” and stepped back to reveal Zane with a shy smile on his face. We danced and he stared into my eyes and sang to me. I was absolutely melting. When the song stopped, he sat back down. Seymour and I and the girls danced a bit more until it was time to go home. The three of us piled into a cab and went back to Seymour’s place.
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Submitted by Marcus, Age 36, Florida
While living in Hogtown, I had a good friend who happened to be quite hot, who I had an off and on thing for. We were good friends, and both of us valued that, which made it tough and awkward during those moments when ‘the urge’ would strike.
Two of these moments are worthy of a telling. Hers first. One late night, after I had gotten home from work, I was settling down for a bit of chatting on IRC and some gaming. It was a boggy but not totally unpleasant Florida night, so I had opted to open my windows rather than run the air. I had just smoked a bowl which made me a bit jumpy, when there was a sharp rap on my door. Paranoia set in as I thought who the hell could that be at this time, but it was none other than my good friend. In a short, black, ‘do me’ outfit. She was a very hot buzzed chick looking for some action.
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Submitted by Ginger
Okay, so here I am at the ripe old age of 22, just got out of a long, life-wasting relationship, and I was on the rebound. My priority in life at this point was to go out, get drunk, and get laid. One night, I did go out, did get drunk, and was talking to a guy who somehow was getting progressively cuter as the night progressed. It happens, you've lived it, let's move on. So, a couple, two, three more drinks later, he is suddenly the funniest guy I've ever met, and for some reason, I decided that we should leave and get things rolling.
Now, I'm not an overly materialistic girl, but when I saw the "Hello this is my Grandma's car" car that he was proudly sporting, I started to lose my buzz, but I didn't let this get to me until I got into his car to see that he was, indeed, sitting on a cushion. My grandma did this because she was shrinking and needed the boost. Okay, letting this slide.
End at his house. Still lives with the parents, and I was assuming he was about my age — no biggie. We sneak into his basement room, have another drink, and then it starts to go from there. Make it onto his bed, start fooling around, having a grand old time, and all of a sudden I hear this SCCCCCCCRRRRREEEEEEAAAAAAAAACCCCCHHHH SSSSSQQQQQwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaccccck!!!
Ok WTF was that!?!? I ask. So Grandma Ride jumps up out of the bed half naked and goes, "OHHH I didn't introduce you to Annie!!!"
I'm sitting here thinking “Who is Annie and WTF is Annie spewing out that wretched ear piercing noise!?!?"
So the guy, who is getting rapidly uglier by the second as my buzz has just about completely dissipated, proceeds to run across the basement half clothed to go get this enormously huge parrot and bring it into the bed! I'M HALF NAKED HERE, BUD!"
Do you want to see how Annie is a good girl and can do her tricks?!?"
Uhhh, not so much, but I was not having much choice here as I was hurriedly getting dressed. (And you all know how getting dressed fast doesn't seem to work; legs are in arm holes, etc.etc.) Well as he spewed out random "baby talk" antics to this thing, Annie decided she apparently didn't like me. Annie was eyeing me down with her beady little eyes and I was giving her THE LOOK right back. Annie swoops off, not like a "pretty little girlie" and flies at me going for my head! At this time I proceeded to lie on the bed and pull the blanket over my head, swearing to myself that I was NEVER drinking again and I should try celibacy.
Now, instead of, I don't know, GETTING THE BIRD AWAY FROM ME, this creep calmly says, "Oh, Annie is upset because you are laying on her pillow. You should move over."
"You let your bird sleep in your bed?!!?"
"Why of course! She is my BAAAAYBAAAY, aren't you, Miss Prettiest Bird in the World!?!? Do you like daddy's new girlfriend??!" At this point, I managed to escape the entanglement of the bed sheets and got up and out of the bed. I was then RUNNING out the door and didn't care that I didn't have my shoes on in the middle of a Chicago January. I was deathly afraid I was going to end up in a hole with Precious tossing me a bottle of lotion to rub on my skin.
Yeah, he didn't get laid. THANK GOD!!!!!
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Submitted by Charlie, Age 38, Houston
I worked at a business software company for 8 years as Network Administrator, and during that time successfully bedded about half of the female personnel; surprisingly, I still had a pretty good reputation, which I attributed to my being honest with women and treating them right before and after each one-night stand. Hell, I mean they even recommended me to one another.
Then we hired a new receptionist for the main desk, and this chick was dazzling. Beautiful red hair, face like a china doll, hazel eyes, built like a brick shithouse, smart, witty, effervescent personality, everybody loved her from day one. Within two weeks I had her heels on my shoulders at the Marriott, and I seriously thought this girl was The One. I soon learned through the grapevine that she thought the same thing about me.
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Submitted by Jimmy, Age 22, Salt Lake City, UT
So I’m from Salt Lake City, UT. You may have heard rumors about this place. Despite what you have heard, one thing Salt Lake City is known for is getting some ‘hanky panky.’ However, I’m still 22 years old and still haven’t had the opportunity to get some–until just the other night.
My friend was hosting a ‘back to school’ party last weekend. He and a bunch of my friends are off to college and so they threw one last rager before moving away. They had jungle juice, jello shots and all the food you could eat. I figured I better eat something if I’m going to drink with them. So they grilled up some burgers and dogs and I had like 4 hot dogs. Anyway, this girl, (we’ll name her…Beth) comes in, and I’m introduced to her by my friends at the party. They’ve been feeling bad for me cause I’m the only one who hasn’t gotten busy yet. My friends tell me that hooking up with her is like ’shooting fish in a barrel.’ And I’ll admit, she’s not the best looker in the bunch, but she sure has a great body. She starts off by pouring me a huge glass of jungle juice. I don’t drink much but I figured, “Why not?” She proceeds to ask me all sorts of questions about myself…Then I realize my friends have put her up to this. I mean, I know that she’s had sex with basically everyone there. I’ve heard the stories. Is it really my turn to get some?
Well to make a long story short, we drank more jungle juice–and more and more! Next thing you know, I had completely blacked out but somehow wandered into a strange bedroom with her. When I suddenly came too, it was dark and the only thing I could smell was her nasty perfume and suddenly…I threw up. She screams in horror and turns on the lights. My pants were down and she was already half naked! But as I looked across the bed, I threw up a bunch of hot dogs and juice and she was horrified. She basically threw her clothes on and ran out of the room. It was all of a sudden!
So if you want to know how not to get laid, don’t eat a bunch of hot dogs then follow it up with Jungle juice. No matter who you are..that will just extinguish any attempt to get some.
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(6 votes, average: 4.67 out of 5)