How Not to Get Laid

A compendium of coitus rejectus... because we learn more from our failures

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Archive for June 2008

The Headstrong Lover

Posted: June 17th, 2008

5 comments so far

Submitted by Too much head, Age 24

This isn’t a story of how not to get laid, this is a story about how not to get laid a second time.

I had a crush on this guy, small one, but a crush. He made me laugh. And he was always talking about how long it’d been since he had sex. So I decided to sleep with him. I offered him a place to stay when he was in town, did a little flirting, and then he was off. He took my pants down, and proceeded to rub the top of his bald head against my vagina. I was not sure how to respond, so I just sort of laid there. Then he started having sex… I’d say with me, but he didn’t look at me, talk to me, pretty much ignored I was there. I started to have a panic attack, so I asked him to stop for a moment. He did. Then he started again. I asked again, for him to stop. He did, then immediately started again. I finally pushed him away, rather freaked out and feeling like a sex doll rather than a person, and told him I was done for the night. He shrugged, and started finishing himself off, on my breasts, while I was crying.

His advances the next morning were met with complete disapproval, and I finally had to be blunt. “I am never sleeping with you again.”

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