How Not to Get Laid

A compendium of coitus rejectus... because we learn more from our failures

A forum for stories about all those amazing sexual encounters you almost had, but didn't.

HIGHEST-RATED STORIES

(Minimum 20 votes)

SUBSCRIBE

Google Reader or Homepage

Subscribe

Add to My Yahoo!

Subscribe with Bloglines

Subscribe in NewsGator Online

Add to My AOL

Subscribe in Rojo

Add to Technorati Favorites!

For safer viewing at the office, please visit hntgl.com.

Search


Your Ad Here

Archive for August 2007

Hoping for a Fair Shake

Posted: August 24th, 2007

1 comment;

Submitted by Mike, Age 40, Virginia Beach, VA

I was in college and helping to teach a Women’s Self Defense class. We had one girl who was gorgeous. She was known to be a bit flaky in that she would just randomly pick a guy and have sex with him. It was a dice roll when the window would open. So I figured I would try my luck. We talked after class, and I walked her out to her car. She told me to meet her the next day. So the next day we met to hang out a little and then all of a sudden she says let’s go back to my dorm room. I was like “lucky 7″. So we headed back to her room. Only to find her roommate there sick. I have to admit she made every attempt to be nice and get rid of her sick roommate. However, the roommate wasn’t budging. So we left, and about 5 minutes later she just didn’t want to know me. Crap snake eyes.

CLICK STARS TO RATE THIS STORY:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (25 votes, average: 2.84 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Some guys never bother to look at a map first

Posted: August 17th, 2007

7 comments so far

(I find it curious that, all of a sudden, most of my stories seem to be coming from women. Will this trend continue? Or will the boys start fessing up to their mistakes again? Anyhow, here’s another international entry for you. This story is a little racy and all sorts of wrong, but who am I to judge? Enjoy. — SF)

Submitted by Alexandria, Age 21, London

This actually happened! I still find myself wondering if it really happened or if I just made it up. A bunch of years ago when I was sixteen, I’d made it into a night club. Two years before I was supposed to get in there. The bouncer had been more interested in looking at my boobs than my ID.

Read more »

CLICK STARS TO RATE THIS STORY:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (22 votes, average: 4.23 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Love will be lackin’ if you’re slackin’ in your packin’

Posted: August 13th, 2007

No comments yet

Submitted by Mortality, Age 18, Sweden

I was on vacation with my family about a year and a half ago. I was still a virgin then, and I’d started talking and flirting with this guy.
On my last night there, he snuck into my hotel room.
So we made out and pretty soon all the clothes were on the floor.
Why no sex? He didn’t bring any condoms, and even though he said he’d pull out before he came so I wouldn’t get pregnant, I didn’t want to. Who knew where he’d been?

CLICK STARS TO RATE THIS STORY:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (40 votes, average: 2.60 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

She’s Tall Enough To Be Your Mother

Posted: August 8th, 2007

1 comment;

Submitted by “Tall Girl”

I’m 6′3″. He’s 6′2″. We’re making out.
He says, “This is great. You know, I’ve never slept with a girl who is taller than me.”
“Well, you haven’t yet,” I say.
“Oh, I will. Definitely,” he says, his confidence suddenly taking on a creepy tone.
“Really?”
“Oh, yes.”
“And what makes you so sure?” I ask.
“Well, because I’m tall and charming and good looking. And you’re . . . tall . . .”
“Yes? And?”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that the way it came out,” he sputters. “It’s just . . .”
“Yes?”
“Well, you’re a big girl, that’s all. And let’s be honest: I doubt that guys like me come along very often for you. Guys of my size, that is . . . Who are interested . . . You know what I mean.”
Unfortunately, I do know what he means. I tell him:
“No, you’re absolutely right. It’s very unusual for me to sleep with a guy as small as you. Unusual and unlikely.”

CLICK STARS TO RATE THIS STORY:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (49 votes, average: 4.33 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...

Grasping for Gratitude

Posted: August 2nd, 2007

3 comments so far

Submitted by Ed, Age 28, NYC

When I was in college I had this big crush on this girl in my psychology class. One day I’m walking to the door and she comes out of it, and she’s kind of standing in the middle of the door, but still holding it open for me, so I have to squeeze by her. And I get nervous and confused whether to say “Excuse me” or “Thank you” and you know what I say?
“Skank.”

That’s what came out. No joke. And she looks at me like I…uh…well…just called her a skank. Which I did. So…I just busted into the room and pretty much had to let that one go. I don’t think there was any recovery from that.

CLICK STARS TO RATE THIS STORY:
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (94 votes, average: 4.41 out of 5)
Loading ... Loading ...
cialis overnight buy lasix online order levitra buy no rx cialis buy cheapest viagra online accutane discount find cialis on internet purchase synthroid find cialis lasix online cheap buy cheap lasix approved viagra pharmacy viagra for order buy synthroid online zithromax generic buy cheap viagra cialis sale cheap levitra clomid generic synthroid for sale accutane online cheap cheap viagra in uk cheap acomplia tablets cheap viagra without prescription where to buy soma order zithromax buy generic viagra online cheap acomplia levitra online purchase viagra without prescription order propecia cheap price cialis where to buy clomid accutane without prescription cialis medication propecia cost viagra best price cialis online acomplia cheap soma online order soma buy lasix cheap discount cialis propecia without prescription cheapest clomid buy cheap zithromax price of soma acomplia generic clomid pills viagra pills order viagra on internet zithromax prices discount viagra without prescription cialis malaysia buy cialis on internet zithromax without prescription discount zithromax cialis tablet lowest price for cialis viagra cheap cialis cheap drug cheap cialis overnight delivery buy cialis cheap propecia cheap zithromax online stores viagra no rx required lasix online stores buy propecia cheap order synthroid generic cialis online viagra in malaysia cheap cialis in usa buy cheap soma