Been There, Done That
Posted: March 2nd, 2007
In my eyes, we really and sincerely were just friends. Three years ago, he happened to show up at my place the night my dog died. Anyone who has lost a pet they loved, knows that you’re in an over-emotional place in the hours/days following. Not wanting to be alone, I begged him to stay. He said, “give me a reason”. Between sobs, I said, “huh?” He said, “you know, a reason,” and he slid his hand up my thigh. I was shocked by this proposal, not a path we’d ever ventured down before, and was kind of offended, but I still wanted him there… Anyhow, I said, “can’t you just stay?” He quickly removed his hand, reached for his jacket, and said, “not without a reason.” Girls, I know I’m not alone here, I gave in, just for not wanting to be alone. (Mental note, next time, call a girlfriend and have her bring ice cream). I hated myself for it, was mad at him, but whatever, the night passed… actually, the extremely unimpressive twenty minutes passed, he passed out, woke up two hours later and left me alone anyway. Wonderful.
The next night he called, asking to come over. I was in my right mind by then, and said plainly, “no, last night was a mistake, it won’t happen again.” He wouldn’t accept it. Told me we had moved from friends to more, that he’d been wanting this for a long time. I said, “no, I was lonely, you wouldn’t stay otherwise, that’s all that happened.” He then called me all sorts of names (let your imagination run wild and then add a few more). Yup, way to sweet-talk a girl. I don’t think I entirely deserved it, I hadn’t exactly seduced him here, I just gave into HIS ultimatum, but call it as you will. We both shoulda played it differently.
Anyway, time passed. For whatever reason, we stayed in each other’s social consciousness. Old habit I guess. Jump to three years later (last week), he showed up at my door with a bottle of wine, and said, “This is it.” Me: “I’m sorry, this is what?” “Three years ago today your dog died, let’s commemorate the occasion.”
Wow. Just wow. I took a moment to look at him dead in the eyes and see that he was serious. He was. I’d like to say I broke his nose when I slammed the door on it, but sadly I think he backed away just in time.
Submitted by Ashley, Age 29, Green Bay, WI
(37 votes, average: 4.43 out of 5)
Loading ...Categories: Girl Story - No Sex for Guy, Foot In Mouth, Melancholy, How Not To Get Laid.
I cant believe how coercive and entitled this guy is! I woulda slammed the door too!
Dumbass. But hey, give him some credit, many girls complain that men tend to forget the anniversaries!
The guy acted like a boor, no doubt.
But let me just say, it’s really hard to be a guy who’s madly in love with a girl he’s been friends with for a long time. (and don’t counter with “we were just friends…” No. You were just friends with him. He was in love with you. He never showed his true feelings to you because he was afraid you’d completely shut him out if he did. Turned out he was right. But eventually, it just became too much for him to stand, so he decided to take the chance). Couple that with an inability to communicate well (obviously a problem for this guy) and you sometimes get unfortunate situations like this.
Fast forward three years. You’ve completely moved on. All he does is think of you. Did he really say “this is it”? Did he use those exact words, or are you paraphrasing? Because if he did, then it meant two things. Sure, it’s the three year anniversary, but it also meant “This is it…my one last chance. My personal Waterloo. My one last try. I just can’t stop thinking about you. Is there any chance for me at all? Please tell me. This is it.” Congratulations, you did.
You slammed the door in his face then wrote about what a jerk he was on the internet. He went home, drank that whole bottle of wine by himself and cried himself to sleep.
Sorry if I have a tough time working up sympathetic feelings for you.
Sorry about your dog.
It’s sweet how men stick up for their own and I’d be inclined to agree with you if when I asked him what “this is it” meant he said anything that suggested what you wrote. But he didn’t. He was an ass and he is an ass, and said the kind of remark that’s gotten him into trouble with too many other people before. Of course nothing’s as brief as we write it here, - I was so shocked when he said what I did, I still remember that moment, long time ago, but it’s still there, I was so hurt that my friend would say something like this, he could have taken it back, he could have explained, he could have said anything to get into my good graces before I closed the door. But nothing, he just left on his cocky smile - if that’s love, we’ve got different dictionaries.
I wasn’t looking for sympathy, though. The situation was sadly amusing though and I was just sayin’ that pretty much every girl I know hopes to end up with her best friend, those are the best kind of relationships, so while I did not see him as anything beyond a friend, he may have found a way to work his way in - we all know that possibility is laying under the ‘platonic’ relationships. But celebrating the death of my dog and/or bringing up a night he knows I considered a mistake and a regret was not the way to go about it. Sorry.
I agree with Ashley on this one. Frank is being a BIT oversensitive, leading me to believe something akin to that happened to him. And if Frank put his foot in his mouth THIS hard I’m sorry for the girl who had to experience something similar to this horrible encounter.
Hm. I’ve been in the position of “in love with really good female friend but afraid to tell her” before. Guess what though? For him to act in such a decidedly ungentlemanly manner as he did (to put it lightly)…there is just no excuse. I would never treat my best friend in that way, especially not if I was in love with her.
He was just cold and manipulative. That’s that.