and they say romance is dead . . .
Posted: January 7th, 2008
Submitted by Elizabeth, Age 25, Austin, TX
I was drinking with one of my really good guy friends (or so I thought). In the past we had hooked up. So why not again? I told him to use a condom. In the middle of the deed, he messes up the condom. He tells me “I did not get off,” then asks me “are you on birth control?”
I said “no.” He began grilling me about why I was not on the pill. To me, this is the kind of conversation you only have with someone you are dating. I actually had another condom in my purse, but by this point I was completely and utterly turned off. Then, not once, not twice, but three times he offered to buy me the morning after pill so we could finish having sex.
I had no idea how to respond. Honestly, I have never had a guy suggest that. For the first time in my life, a guy made me speechless. I would expect this kind of behavior from a one night stand but not a friend. So, I got dressed and left. I have not talked to him since. Maybe, eventually, we will be friends again, but the sex thing is a no go.
So boys/men: never offer a girl the morning after pill unless you are in a serious relationship. Practice safe sex and stock up on condoms.
(21 votes, average: 3.81 out of 5)
Loading ...Categories: Girl Story - No Sex for Guy, Foot In Mouth, Crazy Suitor, How Not To Get Laid, Drugs/Alcohol.
Couldn’t the guy, by your same standards of generalization say “girls, never refuse the morning after pill unless you are in a serious relationship”?
What makes your mood applicable to all women? Why shouldn’t you take him up on his offer? I’m not suggesting that you should here, but at least provide a reason beyond “I was turned off”.
It’s not as if you hold the upper hand in the sex game. If that were so, then you wouldn’t be open to the notion of casual sex with friends in the first place. You would care so much about it that you would wait for a serious relationship, so that things like this - things that “turn you off” and waste your time - wouldn’t occur.
grant, you have no clue.
No clue about what exactly? A woman’s committment to ambiguity in order to exploit the weakness of a man?
How exactly is that strength? In fact, it’s a more deplorable state of dependence than the man’s.
There’s nothing wrong with casual sex… as long as one understand that it will be, it will have to be, by it’s very nature more complicated and more prone to hiccups that can ruin it. At least be honest about it and then you won’t get turned off. If you’re not - that means you’re deluding yourself into thinking that it’s something more than it is.
- A guy that isn’t your boyfriend has no right to comment on the fact that you’re not on the pill. It’s not his business. Asking about it is ok, but anything more that that is not acceptable.
- She wasn’t giving HIM shit about him not having a spare condom.
- Um, you guys do know, that you should use condoms when having sex with people whose medical records you don’t know? You know, there are some nasty STDs out there.
If you’re telling the guy he needs to wear a condom, and further advise all men to stock up on them, why is it any different for him to tell you to use the pill? More protection is better. The asking about it three times part is a little persistent, but you were up on a high horse even before that.
Why is that such a taboo thing for your friend to talk to you about? I’m a pretty old fashioned guy, so it seems to me like sex is more intimate than a discussion about proper birth control. I mean, you’re discussing that on the Internet now….
the morning after pill is more associated to abortion than to birth control. and talking about abortion destroys any sexual feeling one might have at that very moment, especially if it’s your body that’s bleeding and hurting…
let us not ignore that he has essentially asked her to be the dumping ground for his semen. i am a woman, and i take great pains to keep semen out of me. someone essentially saying “c’mon, just take my [potentially infected] load so i don’t have to walk around with blue-balls” is pretty damn inconsiderate….. more than just a turn off.
having sex that is “casual” doesn’t excuse selfishness.
Interesting entry, not just for the above-average entertainment value of the story, but the outraged reaction of male readers. It’s just like that debate over rape that occurs when consent is withdrawn during the act. It angers male readers to the extent that they take it personally. You’d think it actually happened to them. In fact, it really scares them to think this situation could one day happen to them.
Even as man, I have to admit she’s right. She wanted to have sex, but women are more easily upset and turned off. So, given that his commitment to sex is greater, he should have a) been more careful not to screw up his one and only jonny and b) been properly prepared with a spare in his wallet or car. Simply as that.
@ Mike (If you’re telling the guy he needs to wear a condom, and further advise all men to stock up on them, why is it any different for him to tell you to use the pill? ) - slipping a condom on is more temporary. Using a pill alters her hormones to prevent pregnancy. I use a condom with women because I don’t want them screwing up their bodies with pills. The condom is more hassle-free. Well, it is with someone who doesn’t act like Cosmo Kramer in the sack.
I think Elliot summed it up nicely. But I would like to add that the morning after pill can make you really ill, and the pill (and other hormone birth control) can make you ill, gain weight, and make you sterile. They arn’t 100% effective. And they don’t prevent STDs.
Yes, I agree with Elliot.